Rainy Day Musings
by HepburnJunkie22
Summary: Sharon contemplates her life and how it has changed in the last year or so...


_**Hey guys, long time no see! This is just something short to get me back into the swing of writing, i've really missed it the past few months, but from writers block to some personal things I honestly haven't felt like writing. Thank you for being patient and I know this is shorter than my normal stories, but I'm happy to say that I have two more story ideas :)**_

**_PS: As always the characters and TV show are not mind, I do not earn money from this...I'm only playing around._**

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Rain. That had been the weather forecast for the last few days, on and off rain. It would seem to relent just a bit before returning with a vengeance; gutters and ditches in Los Angeles seemed to be overflowing, unable to keep up with all the new work. It was needed badly, not just for the drought that California seemed to be in but for the well being of the city as well. Every indecency or flaw the abstract city seemed to carry could be washed away with a demanding downpour…if only for a little bit. The city would never really be clean; too much muck, grime, and crime were seeped upon the asphalt, creating layer after layer of character.

Sharon Raydor loved this city…after all it had been very good to her through the years. It gave her a place to engage in a career that gave her the satisfaction of making a difference in someone's life, to help those who needed it. It was also the place where she was able to forge a name for herself, to prove to others who doubted her that she could in fact overcome the obstacles placed in her path, with dignity and poise…maybe even a little elegance.

As she sat on her couch centered in the front room of her spacious condo, she couldn't help feel a surge of nostalgia. Her eyes were drawn to the scene outside her patio door, the trees swaying in the strong wind, occasionally splashing water against the sliding glass door. The brunette untucked her feet from under the couch cushion, gingerly stretching her stiff legs before bending them in front of her chest. She could feel the soft fabric of her long-sleeved shirt against the skin of her chest as the material of her jeans pulled tight against her thighs.

It had been the place where she raised her children, guiding and shaping them into the individuals they had become today. That was something in and of its self that she was infinitely proud of, her greatest accomplishment. She encouraged them to be who they wanted to be as long as they kept their moral compasses intact; they should never have to compromise their integrity for something they wanted. She ushered them into adulthood and then had to step back as they stretched their own wings for the first time, watching cautiously and hoping they wouldn't fall.

She laid her head on the back of the couch, blinking her vibrant eyes behind the lenses of her glasses, trying in vain to clear the gritty feeling. Her hair was loose and wild, curling defiantly each and every way, taking on a mind of its own. She had wanted to spend the day relaxing, maybe even reading, so no hairstyle and minimum makeup were the given. Her mind began to drift as her shoulders relaxed, recalling the more difficult moments in her life.

Even when all she had the desire to do sometimes was to give in and let go she had somehow found the strength to pull her self together and move forward. When Jack left and she came to the devastating conclusion that he wouldn't be back for sometime, maybe not at all, she had to make adjustments. She had to learn to protect her mind and heart, and then not to let those two entities interact at all. She had learned the hard way the first few times her misplaced husband had returned, singing praises of sobriety and being ready to 'change' his ways. She would allow him back into her home, into her own heart and those of her children, only to have them carelessly tossed aside when the addiction began to call once again. She began constructing metaphorical walls to keep out the hurt and the anger, so she could function and begin to form a daily routine.

Those walls over the years had served her well, protecting her from all the nasty and hateful comments slung behind her back when she joined FID. Officers who she once shared a beat with and who she once considered her friends turned their backs on her; to say it hurt was an understatement. Being ostracized never felt very nice. In fact Sharon really never got over that feeling. Sure she would put on a show, letting the other officers and detectives that their name calling or crude comments never bothered her, that she let them roll right off her shoulders. In reality she felt every jab and every ill phrased insult, she never really got used to them, numb would probably be the better word.

Then all of the sudden, in the span of about a year her world had been turned upside down. Here she was embarking on another journey, one she had already performed twice over…she was being thrust back into motherhood. She saw so much potential and a yearning in Rusty at the beginning, maybe even a need to be loved and cherished. Sharon knew that no matter how hard, and things were indeed difficult at first, that she owed it to this young man to at least try. To give him the opportunities that his own mother wasn't able or capable of…accepting him was easy and loving him was inevitable.

And on top of that she was assigned to a new division, albeit one she didn't have the friendliest rapport with, but it was new and exciting change nonetheless. She didn't expect the transfer, but on some level she was very excited to be in department where she wouldn't be looked upon with scorn. She should have known that she wouldn't be granted immediate respect regardless of the work she'd put in the last year for a certain blonde Deputy Chief. It took a while but eventually they all, even Provenza, stopped looking at her like an outsider and started believing in her. Everyone seemed to settle into an easy routine, they were becoming a family of sorts.

Sharon smiled as her thoughts were interrupted, pleasantly so, by two slim arms encircling her neck. The corners of her mouth lifted slightly as she inhaled the lightly sweet scent, soft lips brushing against the soft skin behind her ear. She shivered as simple words were whispered into her ear on a warm breath.

"Where were you just now?'

Sharon gripped the hands folded on her chest, nuzzling into the mouth at her ear.

"Just down memory lane," she murmured, "when did you get here?"

The rich chuckled that greeted her made her shiver again as she felt the arms retract from around her shoulders. She turned her head slightly to watch the blonde round the couch and plop down on the cushion next to her. Her blonde curls were in total disarray from the wind and rain outside, but to Sharon she was breath taking. The brown eyes were clearly seen behind rain speckled glasses and creamy skin above the v of her soft cotton shirt. Slight dimples formed in the other woman's cheeks as she watched Sharon give her the once over.

"Well," the blonde drawled, "if you weren't day dreamin' you would know, now wouldn't you."

This was the other major development in Sharon's life in the past year. After helping her out, a certain blonde southern Deputy Chief had decided to…well had decided to stick around. She wasn't quite sure when their relationship had changed from that of friendship to that of lovers, but the brunette didn't mind one bit. Their respective lovers were no longer in the picture, her husband estranged and Brenda's long gone, so that wasn't an issue in the slightest.

It was nice to come home to someone who understood, more like knew first hand what trials and tribulations you went through at your job. Brenda was her sounding board, always willing to lend a sympathetic ear when need be or a shoulder to cry on for the tougher cases, for that Sharon would always be grateful. She was happier than she had been in years and that was due in large part to Rusty, but an even larger part to the beautiful woman sitting across from her awaiting a response.

Sharon smiled a soft smile at Brenda, one that was reserved for her and her alone.

"I love you," she breathed.

Brenda for her part, blushed and looked away bashfully, still embarrassed and humbled every time Sharon said those words.

"I know," she mumbled, grasping the brunette's hand and tugging gently, "trust me I know."

The older woman took the hint and scooted across the couch, gently laying her head on Brenda's shoulder. She sighed contently as she felt an arm rise off the back of the couch and settle around her shoulder, urging her closer. Then a hum came rose from her throat as she felt the younger woman place a lingering kiss in her hair.

The honey sweet, southern tone reached her ears, "I love you too."


End file.
